An Uncanny Horoscope

I happened to be browsing the horoscope section today.  It takes me a little longer than most, because I’m an Aquarian on the Pisces cusp.  I was born in the evening of the transition date between Aquarius and Pisces.  Up front, I’ll tell you that I don’t plan my day off horoscopes, especially the daily load of poop that comes standard on most homepages, these days.  You know the ones.  I can pick your horoscope and you could pick mine, and it wouldn’t make a difference because they are so general and so positive.  They actually did a test somewhere, and I don’t know where I read about it, a long time ago, but they put like thirty people in a room and made a general horoscope prediction (a long one), and when they were finished, there were 24 or so that stated that the description was dead on what was going on in their lives right then, and completely applicable to them.  That’s a pretty good sampling, when all astrological signs were represented in the group.  Yet it managed to apply to all of them.  That is the problem with most astrologers and horoscopes – most of them are only for public consumption, its all good new with a few vague warnings tucked in, etc.  When is the last time you read a horoscope in a national newspaper or online that said “Grab your ankles, your lifeline ends today.”  or, “Take Heart, the financial ruin that occurs today will only last for 11 years and 12 months, and then you’ll be back up and strong again.”  I mean, a “good” astrologer these days is nothing more than a really good author with a great knack for making the most generalized bullshit sound like its describing your daily life.  “You are having problems with a relationship, today.  Wait a day, and things will improve.”  So after Manny goes home afterwork pissed, gets drunk and beats the crap out of his wife, waiting a day will be better because he’ll be sober with a headache and her damn mouth will be swollen shut.  BINGO, I’m your astrologer for the day!  For you married folks out there, the fact that you are married means you are having some kind of relationship problem, whether with your Sigo, their Mom, Your mom, or the flaming kids.  Now that we took care of the married ones, we’ll take out about the singles, because any single in a steady dating mode with another, looking for a steady dating mode with another, or just looking and hoping for that special “another” will believe that that refers directly to them.  We’ve pretty much got everyone covered, because for those that follow horoscopes and believe in them, if it doesn’t apply to them, they’ll search their whole recent life or current situation to see where it does apply to them.  Come on, admit it.  You read your horoscope once in awhile, and though it could be the other side of the world off base and wrong, you’ll still come up with something in your current life that you could apply the message to.  Oh, no, you  little fibbers.  Don’t tell me when you read up above “You are having problems with a relationship, today” that your brain didn’t immediately hop to focus on ANY relationship that you might be having the slightest bit of trouble with.  Uh Huh.  Thought so.  So I’m the kind of person that will take a look, keep it in mind, and in a week or so relook it in my head, just to see how accurate it might have turned out.  The day an astrologer or fortune teller tells me I’m going to lose a hundred and fifty bucks out of my wallet is the day I’ll pull out the one fifty and hand it to them, because if they’ll give you accurate bad news, then they probably know their shit, and it will be worth every bit of the $150 to find out the truth about what’s in store for you in the next month. 

So anyway, I’m browsing, and I come up with this –

              “You've got a lot to say -- but you might have a hard time finding someone who wants to hear it. People are totally wrapped up in their own weird worlds right now, so you may need to turn to your blog.”

How fitting.  Just what I’ve been doing for exactly the past week.  How Dead On!  So take a look at your horoscope today.  How well does it hit with your situation?

 

Michael

 

 

And if you get the chance, and want a much more realistic look at today, try http://www.skywatchastrology.com/  - Skywatch Publications.  They are a bit more dead on and thorough.  You might even get some bad news……………..