Enquiring Minds Want To Know

          Now that I’ve finally caught up on my Weirdness task, here’s a subject that we can ALL jump on the bandwagon about, emotions stirring, anger flaring, the huge gulf between men and women opening like a huge chasm between us (or maybe we’ll find out that its just a crack in an ant hill, but somehow, I just don’t see that happening.)  Ready Set GO!

 

Gooooooood Evening, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Please arm yourselves from the tables in the aisle, and step forward into thissa here cage.  Everyone squeeze in now.  Freddie, be a good man and lock that door, now.

Thissa here’s the rules, people.

We want to know, as accurately and pinpointed as possible, where you draw the line in a, yessss, lets call it a long term relationship, not a one or two date dealybob.

So again, we want to know, down to the very head of a pin, where you yourself draw the line on CHEATING on your selected other.

We want the physical addressed (touching, holding hands, kiss on the cheek, kissing, throwing in some tongue with that there kissing,  heavy petting, heavy petting to orgasm (with or without removal of clothes), oral, or all the way)

We want the emotional addressed, to (does looking in appreciation count, looking in lust, thinking lustful thoughts, fantasizing elsewhere, the intent, etc.)

And finally, we want those damn Gray areas covered in depth (Emailing (and to what extent), cyber flirting, cyber sex, cyber emotional attachment???, INTENT (yes, again, because this here Ringmaster feels that intent has a great deal to do with establishing the line), hiding actions, covering up, etc.

Thank you, Ladies and Gents.  At the sound of the bell, all other rules are off, and we want to see BLOOD in thissa here cage!

DING DING DING

 

I’ll give my answer in two parts, because it is necessary to distinguish between my completely internalized definition, and what I’m willing to acknowledge for the sake of avoiding complete psychotic separation from society.  My inner standpoint is that emotional involvement is the final determiner of whether you are cheating.  Release for the sake of release with no emotional involvement, be it something you pay for (no, I haven’t yet, would only do it with a high price Escort, and I ain’t got that kind of money), a friend with fringe benefits that also has no emotional involvement, etc.  I know what you’re thinking.  That means you could do almost anything, in fact, anything, if there was no emotional tie involved.  Yep, you’re right.  But she could too.  Problem is, most fems can’t, so that severely limits those options anyway.  You’re thinking, “This guy either isn’t serious, or he really is undergoing a psychotic detachment from society”.  My answer to that is the same as it always has been.  You all like the rollercoaster, even if you’re living it vicariously through me.  If you didn’t, Lord knows you wouldn’t be reading still, cause you’re sure not hanging around for the quality of my writing, and damn well not for the quantity.  So that’s my true feelings on the matter.

I’ll now give my thoughts on where I stand as it pertains to practical, practicable reality.  Emotional involvement as in anything other than a close platonic friend, online or otherwise, automatically counts as the big C.  Cyber flirting, Cyber Sex, Online chat don’t count (No emotional involvement hereafter referred to as EI).  Touching – depends on intent.  Kissing denotes EI, so it counts.  Anything above that – depends on the knowledge AND consent of the Sigo.  If the Sigo treats me to a night at the Strip Bar (not an unknown occurrence) then NOTHING that goes on there counts, because of Knowledge and consent.  Looking, ogling, flirting, lusting, fantasizing, porn – don’t count.  Those don’t qualify as acts of intent.  The Sigo knows I flirt, and she knows that I am almost exclusively visually stimulated, that’s all it takes, so none of those act as intent, they typically meet the Knowledge test, and finally, above all, any fantasizing I do about anyone, past present, or fantasized future doesn’t include EI, its PURELY sexual at that point.  Covering up or hiding.  There’s fems that I correspond with.  More fems than males, to be honest, via email, for the most part.  I have an email that she doesn’t know about.  Without a single exception, the fems that I correspond with, there’s no EI.  They are online friends or sometimes very good friends.  Because of the specific nature of the Sigo’s jealousy triggers, however, I don’t broadcast the fact, I don’t discuss it with her, and I wouldn’t acknowledge the existence of the other account for her to peruse every conversation, because when it comes down to it, I’m not going to screen my interactions with people that I talk to just because she might see it and get pissed off.  Is that cheating, no.  But I don’t have anyone IRL that I can spill my guts to.  So it happens with net friends.  And I wouldn’t give her a tape of a conversation blowing off steam at her to an IRL friend, any more than I’d voluntarily give her copies of online conversations where the same happens.  I talk to online friends about a lot of things, including plans I’m implementing and actions I’m considering.  Even if those led to cheating, they in themselves are not, because it isn’t the “target” I’m talking to, but just to friends.    But this entry is long enough.  I’ve honed the knives, and placed my neck in the cage.  Come on, let’s hear some shots one way or another.  You might actually score a blow and convince myself or another reader differently.

 

Thanks to Yahoo for their trigger for this entry.  Let’s hear from the peanut gallery now.  Come on!

 

Michael