22 December 2006

Raising Wyoming

I'd like to start this wonderful guest blogging of mine with a simple statement.

Wyoming does not exist.

Now, I know many of you out there must be wondering if I took my meds today. Yes, actually I did. But it still doesn't change the fact that Wyoming doesn't exist. Who the hell do you know from Wyoming? Have you ever actually seen a Wyoming license plate? Hell, whens the last time you heard something about Wyoming? NEVER!! Because it simply is not there. Its a myth, kind of like Big Foot or Area 51, except not real. Not to mention its an almost a perfect rectangle. What state is symmetrical? Only Wyoming. That place is only a figment of the government's imagination.

Its actually a goal of a mine and a friends to prove this one day. We'll take a massive road trip around the country and document it all on video. One of our goals for this trip is to leave some illegal immigrants in Wyoming and see if we get a black hole effect from it. That, and steal a Mountie's hat some how. This trip is to be called "Through Darkest America: With Bong and Roach clip." Anyone who's read Stephen King's Desperation will get that joke. If you haven't read it, then that's probably for the best. Old school Stephen King can be psychologically damaging in the wrong hands anyways.

On a totally random side note: Did you know that in post-Katrina Mississippi, to get an apartment you must make 3 times the amount of the rent? I just found that out. How fucked up is that? I make roughly 1600 a month, and 3 times the rent is 1575. Whooo, I squeaked by on that one. If I don't get this apartment, I'm going off my meds and killing that creepy apt. manger. She had a goatee. It was massively creepy. I'm not sure I want to live in a place run by the bearded goat woman.

But on the plus side, I'll be back into my own place, creepy landlady or not. I don't care if I have to sleep on the floor with a blanket and pillow. I don't care if I have to eat ramen for the next year. Hell, I don't even care if I have bugs.

I'll just ask Mist for The Cleaner's number. Maybe he'll take extra to bite my Ex.

-KB-

52 comments:

Roadchick said...

There is also no Arizona, no painted desert, no Sedona.

In case you were wondering.

Can the 'chick be a stowaway on that roadtrip???

Susan said...

I'm going to have 'there is no arizona' stuck in my head all day now. It's strange but a group of my friends and I have sat around and talked about the lack of wyoming too. One guy used to claim there was no wisconsin until the movie 'dogma' came out and claimed that Wisconsin is a place far worse than hell. He decided that it actually must be pretty impressive to get those terms..

Miranda said...

I've lived in this Wyoming and, trust me, it is a whole other plane of existence. Or at least that is the only explanation I can come up with to explain my in-laws.

mist1 said...

I've been to Wyoming, MN. So, it's not that it doesn't exist, it's just that the state had to downsize.

Let's discuss eThay eanerClay offline , ya dig?

KDRocker said...

'chick,
Heck yeah you can come! The more the merrier.

Susan,
Wisconsin is worse than hell. How else do you explain Green Bay?

Miranda,
Like I said, its like area 51. Or a black hole to another dimension.

Mist,
Gotcha. I'll meet you by the liquor cabinet later. I'll be the one with the martini.

briliantdonkey said...

LOL,

Hmmm now that you mention it I don't think I HAVE seen a wyoming license plate OR met anyone from there. Thanks for filling in,the laugh and the great read.


BD

PS: Michael I will have mine for you at about midnight tonight when I get off work.

BD

Michael Thomas said...

Kristy, you and Mist better be leaving a deposit in that liquor cabinet. Between Mist's first day here, Fringes and 'chick's collusion, I've had to refill that cabinet three times this week. You ladies are inhaling all of my Christmas alcohol and I don't even get to be there when ya'll get drunk and wild at MY PLACE!
That's ok. You enjoy. All of my hidden video cameras are rolling. And BD won't be upset once I send him copies. LMAO ROFL.

Michael

Susan said...

There is no explaining Green Bay. I've met a couple of people from there and I always have the reaction I believe I would have if I ever encountered a rabid rabbit--backed away slowly and don't look back when I run.

...wait. There's a full stocked liquor cabinet at this place?? How have I survived this long without comin' 'round?

KDRocker said...

Update: We got the apartment!!

briliantdonkey said...

Michael,

I am done. Only one problem. I am clicking on your profile to get your email address and it is coming up with an error message. Send me an email address so I can get this out to you. Then again, maybe you came to your senses and had second thoughts. lol

BD

Anonymous said...

Just to let you know, I live in Roswell, NM. That means I've been 2 Arizona MANY times & some people believe there is no "Area 51" but there seriously is an "Area 51" in Nevada...seriously...but i dunno if there really are alliens & dont u dare ask me if I am one since I live in Roswell...I'm sick of that!

Anonymous said...

I live in roswell too!! in fact im very good friends with the guy above and im how he found out about this site. there is an arizona! but no wyoming! its all a conspiracy!!

http://www.expage.com/destroywyoming

go to this site! there are others too and they all offer evidence that wyoming doesnt exist! and no, im not an alien either...

Anonymous said...

I am good friends with the two people above me. I too live in the alien crazed town known as Roswell. Arizona does exists and it would be wrong not to think that. On the other hand, Wyoming is a conspiracy that one of my good friends have come to that conclusion

Michael Thomas said...

Anonymous 1, 2, and 3

Welcome Alien Brotherhood. I lived in Albuquerque, worked at some of the Test Sites around White Sands, visited Roswell, and know there is an Area 51 in Nevada. Where the so called alien craft that crashed in Roswell was taken after recovery. I know Arizona exists, and I supposedly took a vacation with family there when young. But who was I to argue if they said we were in Wyoming? Perhaps my parents were part of the conspiracy. Would that make me a sub-conspirator? Food for thought.

Michael

Anonymous said...

i'm from wyoming and let me tell ya it does exsist. . . you say you have never seen a wyoming lisence plate??? well i have seen plenty and i live in arizona... let me ask you have you seen any new york or alaska lisence plate?? yet your not dissing them?! wyoming is actually a cool place if you only went there. and btw we aren't all cowboys or hicks.... if your a hick in wyoming your not 'cool'. bye

Michael Thomas said...

Welcome ANon,
I do hope you understand that this was a lighthearted post and not really aimed at anyone in particular. Everyone has to be from somewhere, and almost everyone agrees that their somewhere is better than somewhere else, because if it wasn't, they mostly moved to somewhere else so they can be happy and talk smack about the somewhere they actually came from. Thanks again for dropping by the ER, and if you get the opportunity, please browse the archives. I'm sure you'll find SOMETHING that appeals to you.

Michael

Anonymous said...

no there is a wyoming its just we dont like having people like bloggers come to our state. its the place that isnt destroyed by pollution or anything of the sort. basketball fan? the man that invented the jumpshot attened the univeristy of wyoming!

Anonymous said...

ps...from the last comment....i know its a joke...so i played back! i really dont think there is a AZ to!

Anonymous said...

Um...are you sure you didn't skip a dose on your med schedule? I happen to be from Wyoming, and while I do admit that there isn't much here that is interesting, it is a real state. I have left and come back on roadtrips several times in my life. Though I will admit that there are a lot of people who don't know where Wyoming is or think its in a different country, and most people on the east coast still think we live in wagons and get attacked by indians every night. And I admit that most of us who live here do nothing to discredit these rumors, but we are here. I swear.

Anonymous said...

I agree! Me and my friends have been trying to convince people wyoming does'nt exist forever! I was bored and tried to see if anyone else felt the same and there you were! I'm glad I'm not alone!

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Anonymous said...

Alright..you are all seriously mentally challenged or deranged. Wyoming is most obviously a place. If you head there, you will get there. It's not like some black hole is going to suck you up. Go to Yellowstone or Grand Teton National Park and you will see Wyoming is very much a real place. Celebrities such as Sandra Bullock and Harrison Ford live in Jackson Hole Wyoming. You would know that if you actually had money to live in one of the richest communities in the United States. I attend the University of Wyoming and have lived in Jackson Hole all of my life and quite frankly, I am insulted to hear that people don't think it exists. In fact, I was in colorado and a woman asked me if I knew what a dentist was. Her friend immediately told her to keep her mouth shut because my teeth are straight from braces. Not believing Wyoming exists is ignorant and insulting and I suggest you keep your mouth shut.

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