For those that have been living vicariously through me – I have some bad news. Things have been going so well of late that the Beast is in hiding – thus my true muse is gone – thus I have nothing to bitch about and no motivation to create. It’s a sharp razor to balance on, on occasion.
I’ll toss in a fortune cookie, as I finally have one so fitting that I MUST share.
“You have a slow and unhurried natural rhythm” and after adding the mandatory “in bed,” we now have a piece of awesome advertising for the skill in question – You have a slow and unhurried natural rhythm in bed. So yes, ladies, that’s what I call Great Marketing. I’ll be taking reservations at the side door after finishing this post.
Which brings me to one topic that I can always talk about. Sex. And, in that I have been an oh so good boy since I started this blog, and haven’t gotten really racy or out of line, I feel the burden of variety pushing me to switch things up a little – and hone that razor just a little more.
So, post whatever answers you are comfortable with in the comments, and consider this sentence a disclaimer that adult erotic material may follow, and please wait for the next post if that is something that bothers you. For those of you that intend to post – You may get as in depth and as in detail as you wish. This is one question that we want hard answers on, and one that I find hard to get offended over, period. Be yourself. Answer as detailed as possible.
Favorite position, favorite speed, best move you’ve done, best move done to you, most romantic act, most freaky act, most memorable, most forgettable, most embarrassing, most exhibitionist, wildest location, fantasy you haven’t had fulfilled, fantasy you have had fulfilled, oral, anal, missionary, or any other similar topic you wish to throw in. And remember, these comments will only be as interesting and conversation provoking as you make them. Oh yes, and guys, keep the inflated measurements and Herculean exploits to a minimum. Our rep is bad enough as it is. And ladies, while I won’t delete it, I would prefer this didn’t open a gate for male bashing, so easy on the hair grabbing and nail slashing, please.
I’ll post some of my answers in comments tomorrow. Out of time now. Thanks in advance for your responses.
17 comments:
wow, i saw this post about 7 or 8 hours ago and wasn't sure if or how i was going to respond but i guess it's up to me to break the ice. this may not be exactly what you had in mind michael but here goes. this is going to sound pretty tame/lame to most of you but i wouldn't trade it for the world. when i had my daughter i went a little nuts for a while. i was a first time mom at 30 and scared to death. i had never spent any time around kids and just knew i was gonna screw it up bigtime. i had quit drinking and smoking (cigs and pot) when i found out i was pregnant and regretably i also quit paying any attention to my husband. this continued untill about 6 or 7 months after cheeks was born. eventually j got sick of it and had my mom come over and watch cheeks so that we could go out to dinner. after we got back and my mom had left he talked me into sharing a joint and i was finally able to relax enough to enjoy myself and his company a little without feeling guilty over not devoting every second to the baby. j had been sleeping on the couch for months but that night we actually went to bed together. it was just one of those times when he wasn't going to take no for an answer. he wasn't pushy or anything but patient as all hell and we ended up having a great night reaquainting ourseves with eachothers bodies. no porn style sex just nice and slow with some giggle fits thrown in as we fumbled our way through. in a way sex is like riding a bike, you never forget the basics but as with a bike, every partner is different and sometimes you can forget the details if you let yourself. i truely hope i never allow that to happen again and hold that memory close to my heart. that night my wonderfully stubborn husband refused to take no for an answer and quite possibly saved our marriage. don't get me wrong, he's still an ass sometimes but so am i. as long as we remember to reconnect from time to time we'll be fine. :-)
I'm not sure why but heather's description makes me think of Gone With the Wind when Rhett picks Scarlett up and has his way with her. Sure, it wasn't as sweet and everything as that but in my head that's how it went.
Now, what all can I write about before the boss gets here: I, obviously, am a big fan of giving BJs seeing as how it is mentioned at least once a week in either my blog or comments in my blog. I'm not going to get into technique or tricks of the trade but Fletch is a very happy man. We'll just leave it there.
The raciest, juiciest thing I've done was also with Fletch. We have a long history in a short amount of time. When things first heated up between us, we were pretty much exhibitionist. The most memoriable/raciest night was on a hill in front of the apartment building next to the only street into town in the pouring down rain. It was like a fantasy. Whoo lots of answers to the questions in one night.
Most embarassing night was with one of my exs where he, yes he, was actually so loud the neighbors called the law. That was fun to answer the door with full on sex hair and random red marks trying to convince them 'no, really officer, it was all just good fun'
I think that's enough for now. It's too early for me to have saucy thoughts. ;)
Heather, that is a great story, and you would be surprised how many couples go through it during or after a pregnancy. I thought I was alone. NOT.
Susan, where's the Romance?
Everyone else sneaking through here today - you've just seen two examples of stories regarding sex that are exactly what I was looking for, and barely PG13. Come on, quit lurking and throw your two cents in. Our society has placed too much of a burden on the idea of sex. Throw off your burdens. Share.
Sex is one of my personal favorite topics. I don't believe in bad sex. If it wasn't good, it never happened (note: bad sex = going directly to voicemail, sorry, I'm just like that).
I love quickies. There's no need for lots of passionate love making and cuddling afterwards. Sometimes, you just need to get it done.
You know what I miss? Shower sex. It's been too long. As I am not in a relationship, shower sex is out. Shower sex implies a relationship. Perhaps, I should invest in a water proof toy.
Mist - If you time it right, as you're leaving for the evening, you can have the shower sex without the relationship. I know, then ya don't get to sneak out, but hey, we all make little sacrifices. But if that doesn't work for you, I hear they've made a waterproof "Butterfly" now.
michael, i'm glad you liked it, i had to think long and hard about that before i decided, to hell with it, it's not like i've gotta work with you guys. kinda theraputic in a way. an internet version of a confessional, this could become addicting. your most thought provoking post i've read. i'm gonna have to finish your backlog now :-)
Bless you my child. Go in peace.
Father Michael
Ahhh Romance: I sat on the edge of my bed, clutching a picture. Tears were rolling down my cheeks when Fletch walked in. I put the picture back in the drawer by the bed, sliding over with my back to him. He'd come over for a specific purpose, but before he had a chance I was sobbing. The picture brought up bad memories. I kept pushing him away each time he tried to hug or touch me. I was sobbing so hard I felt sick. He just kept at it, though, holding me close while I sobbed into his chest.
"You need to go. You don't need to get mixed up with me. I have too much history, Fletch.."
I looked up at him, vision blurry and he kissed me. It was soft, but passionate at the same time. His fingers traced across my face and into my hair while he kissed me, holding me as tight to him as possible. The night turned into a very passionate experience where the whole world seemed to stop.
It all started with a sad moment but it turned into one of the most romantic evenings ever. If a man can kiss you, snot and eyeliner rolling down your face and still make you feel beautiful, it's a perfect moment.
susan, it's absolutly amazing when you find the one who can do that for you isn't it.
michael, thank you sooo very much for that image, how long before i can picture you without the priest getup and the hot pink and black leather flog... just want to know how much of my tax return is going to be going to my therapist. lol
ps, there's another note to you at the end of chick's how do you wait.
Wait a minute. My wife just turned 30 and we're on the verge of trying to bring a little me or a little her or a little of both of us into the world. Does this mean I should be terrified?
Saw your comments on Briliant Donkey and Mist1, so had to visit. Nice blog. I'll be back to read more.
James - Thanks for stopping by the Cardiac ER. I would answer that, no, you should not be terrified, but that yes, you should consider the possibility, and that yes, if I was you I would discuss it with her and possibly both of you discuss it with the Family Physician, at least as far as how common it is and/or possible methods to decrease the loss of interest. I love the Sigo but the entire situation has soured the marriage on many an occasion. And not saying you'd cheat, but when you go from a lot to practically nothing, and she doesn't feel either attracted or attractive to you, its VERY hard not to start trying to fill that hole elsewhere.
Heather - if you look real close at the profile pic, you can sort of imagine that little white square in the middle front of that black shirt. The cross round my neck was under the shirt at the time. >>Evil Laugh<< Bless you my child, go and sin no.... um... go and make sure you don't get caught.
ALL - for the record, that Flog is blood red. The cell phone and bad lighting turned it pink.
Wow, going freaky in public on me? Sweet.
I'll go with the position. Him on top, pinned down, and nice bit of choking thrown in. I'm a freak, and love it. Pull my hair, smack my ass, and call me a bitch!
james, it's not like that for everyone or no family would have more than 1 kid! also you two are trying to get preggers, j and i were suprised, not yet married, and only a year into the relationship when we found out we were gonna be connected for the rest of our lives regardless of how the relationship ended up. to add to all of that i NEVER wanted kids to begin with. j did, not me. i still don't really care for kids but you breathe wrong anywhere near mine and all bets are off. she's the greatest gift i ever got and i thank god everyday the condom broke. take michael's advice and talk to the pros.
michael, everytime i've been caught it was intentional {evil laugh right back atcha buddy} don't get your panties in a knot, there's nothing wrong with a hot pink flog, i've got a bra to match it if i ever decide the personal touch isn't enough. ;-)
Don't I know you from somewhere?
Why the hell did my last post show up as KS??
KB - Kinky Sex = KS???
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