The Flowers That Sank A Thousand Ships

This is them. These are the culprits. They are at least accessories before, during, and after the fact. The delivery person is the one that needs to be drawn and quartered. This lovely package was delivered to the SIGO’s office approximately one hour - AFTER she left for the day. It would be the first time in years that either of us has done anything for the other for Valentines. It was simply not a big deal, for all of us. Most of our memorable things – meeting, her moving across country to be with me, the proposal, the “first time”, etc. all happened in the Months of November/December, and we started talking and getting to know each other online.

I am here to tout the fact that, yes, despite our problems, we’ve been married for closing on eight years now and we met online. It wasn’t a personal service, or dating site, or such. Nine years ago, you could actually meet some real people in the “Barrooms” of the AOL chat rooms. The SIGO has, without a doubt, some of the greatest traits that any guy could want. She cooks, by choice. While she won’t sit down and watch but a few specific games, she can watch football, understand it, knows the rules, and will pull the kids upstairs when I finally get to watch an NFL game. Go out after work with the guys? I don’t ask often as its something I don’t really get in to, but she’s always adjusted her schedule to accommodate it on short notice and never once said no. Strip Clubs? No problem, as long as she gets to go to. We’ll trade lap dances. She gets to pick the ones I get. She knows my tastes. And while she’s not hardcore into it, she’ll enjoy a good lapdance as much as any guy. And the fems always seem to give the fems better ones. Here’s the bonus: There’s no hands off policy for the female customers. The Sigo takes advantage of this. And makes sure I have a good view. Anyhoo, she’ll sit down and play video games. We used to have Saturday PGP. Pizza, games, and Pussy. Every Saturday we’d grab a pizza, play on the playstation or the gamecube until 12 or 1 in the morning, and then head up to take care of business. OK, bad thing. She’s like a hoover vacuum when it comes to grabbing treasure in the video games. The crap don’t hit the ground. You can bitch all day about it. She doesn’t care. So I’ve stated this before: Online, at least the way it was a few years ago, is a good place to meet a mate. Lifetime material. Because you have to base mostly on actual conversation, rather than looks or material things.

She doesn’t like flowers as gifts. I never have to worry about that stuff. She’d rather have a new tech gadget. I lost my train of thought miles back, but watch me bring it home. Her very words are – Flowers die. So VD has never been a big day for us. I decided to try and make it something special this year. By now, the Blogosphere knows what happened. The card read – Roses die, but our love only grows. Michael. Try giving that message over the phone. The first two words brought a gasp of horror from the flower lady. The closing made her say – now that’s really nice. She took my order. She promised on the phone yesterday morning that they’d be there.They weren’t. Her flowers sunk my Valentine’s Day Love Boat.

Michael