Please note that there are two more Guest Bloggers lined up. As everyone knows, the Cardiac ER has become the David Letterman Show of the blogosphere, the place to Guest Blog, the
It’s Fortune Cookie Wednesday. While the Chinese restaurant I haunt twice a week hasn’t come up with any really “wow” fortunes this week, we’re going to make do, because if this thing works out well, we might make it a weekly. So the Fortune Cookie of the day (whose cookie was possibly the most stale piece of petrified propylene glycol and sodium benzoate that I’ve had the dubious pleasure of consuming in a while) states:
Someone with blue eyes admires you. (hey people, this is the material they give me to work with. Wadderya gonna do?)
For starters, I know these things are supposed to be general, but you couldn’t have thrown the sex of the person in there? Now I have to run around looking staring into the eyes of Every passerby and co worker that I see, looking for blue eyes and that little “admiring” twinkle?
Aw, come on now. “Admires”. That’s a good one. Does this individual look up to me as a mentor, do they respect my work (possible), my choice in wardrobe(Ain’t happenin’ folks), or are they flat out creaming their jeans for me? Enquiring minds want to know, damn it all! Well at least they got specific enough with the “you”. At least specific enough that I know that it refers to at least one of my split personalities. I mean, the whole thing relies on chance, right? You eat with 5 people, and “your” fortune cookie is supposed to gravitate into your hand. Pick up the wrong one? Those fortune cookie makers are really good with electronics. If I reach for the wrong one, the little teleporter inside materializes my correct fortune in the cookie I’m reaching for. We aren’t dealing with amateurs, here. But does do they really know which personality is in charge when I open it?
But onward to the best part. The unwritten (you didn’t see me type this) rule of fortune cookie opening is that you must read it aloud and add the words “in bed” to the end of it. “Someone with blue eyes admires you in bed.” Now we’re getting somewhere. We’re cooking with gas. It definitely limits the number of people that I have to stare at, looking for that little twinkle. But wait a sec. I may be getting old, but I can’t remember the last time I was in bed with someone with blue eyes. They must have been admiring me for a long time.
Feel Free to add your last fortune in the comments.
6 comments:
"Your personal life will go as you have planned" was my last one.
btw, I have blue eyes.
>>winks<<
In the spirit of changing things up a bit for the new year,,,,,,exxxcellent posts dude....
disclaimer: (speaking really fast here) "changing things up here" refers to my choice of words NOT the quaility of posts......put down the lawyer and back away from the monitor.
BD
That "in bed" thing sure livens up some of the Fortune Cookie fortunes I gotten...
"You find a horse's head in bed"
"You'll meet a goat in bed"
"Happiness is waiting for you in bed"
"Your future awaits you in bed"
"You're going to die in bed"
"A focused mind is one of the most powerful forces in the universe"
It was Chinese Monday here.
Oh, and the 'chick has blue eyes & you KNOW she admires you.
*eg*
Susan - I hope it does go as planned - And don't tempt me with those beautiful eyes. The bunny picture tends to warp any proper response to that. Or was the deflate..........
BD - As long as you don't have blue eyes
Bice - At least you are just meeting the goat. Mine said you'll sacrifice a goat..... in bed. I just can't see getting THAT desperate.
'chick - you get all the good fortunes. My fortune today said "We can learn from everyone, even our adversaries.....in bed" Like I'm sticking it anywhere that has the possibility of getting bitten off. Sheesh.
nowhere in that fortune did it say that your admirer was in bed ~with~ you, he/she/it could be watching you ;-)
Post a Comment