Post 1 - NaBloPoMo

I had to be actually braindead to enter this NaBloPoMo thing.  I failed to remember that for the next three Saturdays, that I have no access whatsoever to a computer.  So, in order to complete it, I have to cheat a little.  If you are the judge, and you are reading this, you’ll have to disqualify me now.  Because on Friday, albeit at two separate sittings, I’m going to have to post Saturday on an Outlook send delay.  There is just no way around it.  So I’m out before I even post.  But I am going to do it anyway, to see if I actually can. Let the POSTING begin!!!!!!!

Character Study – Davie

          Davie is a salesman, and a Viet Nam Vet, and a Leather Worker, and the closest thing to a real comic that I know.  Davie and his wife Nell pretty much adopted me from the moment we met.  It was just that sort of click thing that you’re never expecting, but you are always wishing for when you meet new people.  Now me, I don’t quite know what it is or was about me that posted “I NEED ADOPTION” in neon lights overhead for them to see.  Do they read me that well?  Or am I just that transparent to the world.  Davie is a Shade from the Shadow World, too.  Only he makes a lot of the gear for it.  He’s the one with the handbraided flogs.  Oh yeah.  But what gets me about Davie, is his “Talking to the Father” routine.  Oh yes, you’ve seen it before in a couple of movies, a comedy spot here and there.  But he has it nailed down.  You’ll be sitting down in a group of people, talking about something or other, and ask him a question.  He’ll suddenly out of nowhere sort of crick his neck to the side, glancing upward at the sky, and start having a one way conversation with God.  It goes something like this….

 

Member of Group: Say Davie, why don’t you tell us the story about the girl that groped you under your kilt today.

Davie: No, that’s all right.  We don’t need to get into that.  Nell will be all over me over nothing if I do.

Davie Cricks his neck, listening.

Davie:  But I don’t want to tell the story, Father.

More Listening.

Davie:  You say you want me to tell the story whether I want to or not.

More listening.  The crowd is already busting out.  You have to understand, he does all of this in a bastardized mixture of Scottish and Irish accents.

Davie:  You say you’ll do WHAT if I don’t tell the story?

Short pause.

Davie:  Well alright, Father.  If yer have to be THAT way about it?  Why you gotta bring the Holy Spirit thing into it every time, eh?

He proceeds to tell the story.  Having already gotten the crowd busting, the story brings gales of laughter from everyone, whether its funny or not.  Given his little curled up goatee, and seeing him do all of this in traditional Scottish attire, makes the whole thing that much more delicious.  So that’s Davie.  Maybe you know him.  Maybe you know someone like him.  Or maybe you’d just like to be able to work a crowd like that.  At any rate, keep a look out for him, and for the Father’s sake, if you don’t want to star in one of his routines, keep your hand out from under that darn kilt.

 

Michael