I’ve been blessed with both yin and yang, good and bad, in the past few days. I’ve had an umbilical to the well font of philosophy and personal insight plugged into my head for over a week now. Every conversation, every observation, I’ve been coming up with the most startling, dramatic, accurate and TRUE insights into life, relationships, personal dynamics, and happiness, just as long as it had nothing to do with me. It’s f-ing insane, and it has never happened to me to this extent or even close before. I feel like my body and mind are in tune with the cosmos, and that I can see interconnections, know how everything is tied together, and be able to communicate that to others in a meaningful way. That’s the Yin.
Wham! Slam! The Yang. The Beast is alive, well, and prowling through the recesses and dark, dank alcoves of my mind. Let the wrestling match begin. I’ve got to fight every moment of the day to concentrate on work, and avoid doing or saying something so totally unacceptable that I lose this job. Fighting so hard with the Beast yanks an absolutely “I don’t give a fuck about the consequences of ANYTHING” blanket out and wraps it around me, stifling, hot, sweaty, choking, oh my god I can’t breathe, wait don’t say it, don’t say it, keep it inside, keep it inside….. I hate the Beast, but it opens channels and brings awareness of things on a higher level. I absolutely write my best when I’m in a stranglehold with the Beast. It seems that whatever curtain that my everyday brain throws up in order to hide these insights, hide the truth, survive… well, it seems that the struggle with the Beast diverts the defense mechanisms in my brain, and it can’t keep the protective curtain up. The fight is on. Each time, the universe practices yin and yang, balancing the good with the bad. Great insight into the cosmos balanced with a tightrope walk on a razor blade over the black pit of depressions, loss of spirit, apathy, numbness.
It’s a bundled package prize, and you don’t get the prize without paying the piper. You can’t have the good without suffering the bad. So I have to ask you right now, my audience. . .
Deal or No Deal?
Michael
2 comments:
I've never thought about giving my beast a name. Hmmm...I'm thinking Connie. No, um, Plaxico. That's it. Plaxico, Fringes' beast.
Thanks for the post. I totally identified.
hmmmm goood question. If you have any of the super hot models from the show to choose from can I make an ass out of myself with errrrrrr TALK to them while I decide?
BD
Post a Comment