I hate this part. I feel like I’m coming down from a drug high or something right now. I’m down to about a post a week, if I’m luck, and I’m completely and totally out of touch with that insight that I was so tied into only two weeks ago. I feel like I’m floating in a field of darkness, hoping the swells don’t smash me onto some metaphysical reef that will ruin me forever.
My newest and one of my only two close friends in the world got thrown in the can over something he couldn’t have possible done, due to a spoiled little shithead that got disillusioned and didn’t get his way.
Someone I met at Renfaire has requested that I play Dom to her Sub. You know, the Sigo and I have the greatest relationship overall in the world, and I love her to death. When we got together, we were doing it 4 to 5 times a week, easy, for over two years. Then she wanted a kid. I was willing to have a couple with her. So we tried for a while. Nothing. Went to the Doc. We got to mark the little chart thing every time we did it. The DOCTOR was impressed with how often we were doing it. We scored. Had a little boy, without too many complications. And the sex came to a screeching halt. Started up for a couple of months when she was ready for her second. And then came to a complete dead stop. Like once a month, and that was if I pressed it. Her drive – gone. Disappeared, off the face of the earth. Hasn’t come back. At 40, I’m still ready for once, even twice a day. Now I’ve got these new interests, on top of it all. Any compromise there? Yeah, whatever!
I should feel like the shithead, because I feel like I’m getting screwed here. I imagine the responses will vary. Those that like and enjoy sex, especially a lot of it, will be with me on this one. Those that don’t and sex doesn’t do anything for them, they’ll be the ones hopping on the all males are assholes bandwagon. No compromise there, either. You know what they’ll say? You can do without. You don’t need to do all that other freaky stuff, either. You should be satisfied with what you get, especially if everything else is as good as you say. The problem here is that, by nature, most females are emotionally based. I’d guess that the majority of them have a major emotional tie with regards to sex and the person they are with. Add that to the inbred jealousy thing, and you’ve got a simple recipe for disaster. They don’t have any concept of sex without emotional ties.
Sorry. Maybe I’m alone in this. I can have sex with a woman, orgasm, come, without the slightest emotional tie, before or after. I kind of think that’s inbred into males. We were designed to get the most bang for our buck, to breed as many females as possible before we got chewed into little bits by a mammoth or a sabertooth. I can get freaky with someone without an emotional tie. So if I can do all that, then she shouldn’t be threatened by me getting what I can’t get from her somewhere else, especially if its freaky and something that she’ll never try. You know why that doesn’t work? Her own insecurities make her insane jealous. So its my problem again. Its shit like this that destroys 8 year relationships. In flames. Complete crash and burn. Even though everything else is sweet, working, and full of love. Yeah, in the end, I’ll be the asshole, as usual. No Matter What!
I have this theory that you are allotted a specific number of orgasms in life. If you miss one, its gone forever. Because she has no drive and doesn’t want to experiment anymore, is it her place to make that decision for the rest of my life? I don’t think so. So I’m the asshole again. What’s another label?
What’s YOUR label?
Michael
3 comments:
nor here
Do what you feel you have to do. All I can say is KNOW ahead of time there MAY be serious consequences. It is up to YOU whether or not those consequences are possibly worth the reward.
Me personally? I don't think so but that is just my opinion. I can't imagine ANY sex, no matter who it was with, being worth the risk of possibly losing a wife and children over. That said, in fairness I should probably admit that I am 'broken'. Don't get me wrong I enjoy sex too, but at the same time I have always found it to be overated for the most part.
Like I said, not judging, just throwing out my .02
BD
I had a feeling that this would come up. I told the Sigo about the party last night. She went off. That's where honesty gets you. But let me clarify a couple of things that may not have been clear.
It's not just about not getting sex right now. It's about her giving me a lose lose choice - My way or the highway - the rest of your life sexually frustrated or leave now. Marriage is about two people, not one person making a lifetime decision for the other. I told her the closest analogy I could come up with was me marrying her, saying we would have the two kids we agreed to, and then getting myself clipped before we had even one (marriage already in place). Same options to her - life without children or hit the road. Tell me what's right.
I also have varied tastes, and she gave up on the keep things interesting a long time ago.
Anyway, after the blowout, or during - she gets disgusted and tells me to go to the party. And keeps telling me. All with that sour evil eye they give you that when you read between the lines, says - Go ahead and do it. There's a pair of scissors waiting when you get back, ready to recircumcise you down to a stub. Oh yeah, and I'll never let you forget it for the rest of your natural life.
That a little better perspective?
Here's a comment one of my regulars emailed, with a little editing:
Darlin - I just read your post ..... and rather than commenting there, I'm going to comment here: Proceed with caution
You know as well as I do that if Sigo finds out....you're most likely history
AND
you're right about the whole sex-emotions thing for women. Be very careful if you choose to Dom for that girl because....there is a huge level of trust involved on her part and that's where it starts to get tricky.
For a sub to be truly, totally submissive, there has to be total and complete trust and faith in the Dom and that usually starts getting into the love area.
There's a huge difference between a scene between a loving D/s couple and one that is just sceneing.
You know I'm here for you - I'm not trying to lecture or anything like that - I just don't want you to jump into anything too quickly and find out later you should have waited.
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