Good Drugs

So here we are again. I’m writing this from a drug induced haze – and not a necessarily fun one. I’ve had a minor back problem over the last few months that has escalated recently into something possibly more along the lines of major problems. When the pain got so bad that I had to buy a cane at Walmart in order to get around, it ballooned from a minor aching irritant to something a little more. . . attention grabbing. Sixteen visits to the chiropractor had only made it worse up to this point. I happened to have to go in for a quick check up in order to get my meds renewed. My previous doctor had flown the coop just after seeing me back in October. So this new doctor goes through my records, and renews EVERYTHING, whether it was a one time thing or not. We’re talking the good stuff. Sleep aids, tranqs, the whole kit and caboodle. Sweet. I told him about the back problems. He set me up with some muscle relaxants on top of all that.

Opening Day was Saturday for T-Ball. Newsflash folks. If your kid is thinking of playing, you’d better clear your entire schedule and rearrange your work hours. It isn’t like soccer, where you bring juice to every other game and just make sure that they’re there for practice. No, Little League, and T-Ball are a religion here in Texas. We produce National Champion Little League Teams all the time around here. To join, you need to pay double just to get them in. Then you have to shell out an extra $45 or sell $90 worth of candy. If you choose to sell the candy, they start you off with $90.00 worth, and at the end of the fundraising deal, you pay them $90. Even if you sold #5 in candy. Oh, yes. The shirt, hat, belt, and one pair of pants is included. You get to buy the glove, the helmet, the batting gloves, the extra pair of pants, the T-shirts for the adults. Then you get to work the concessions stand on opening day. By the end of the day, I was hobbling on the cane. I took almost double the dosage on the relaxants – nothing. So I called on Monday. They prescribed a better one that actually works. It also interacts well with my other meds, increasing their potency. It enhances the effects from any alcohol I consume. So in effect, my Anti-D’s are acting like triple the dosage, one beer affects me like three, and I’ve been walking around in a daze. Enough of a daze that people are asking if I’m okay.

It must have looked really bad last night. We went to bowling and half the league were asking T if I was pissed off. How do you tell someone that you aren’t pissed off, that it’s only you being somewhere else in your head, and not even hearing them talk to you? “Oh, by the way, I’m not ignoring you, I’m just in slow motion and by the time it registers 5 minutes later that you said something, it’s far too late to do anything about it. Have a nice night. Go Away now.” Clearly, it’s also affecting my chain of thought, because I looked up right now and saw just how long this post had gotten, and just how rambling it is. So forgive me. I posted. That should count for something, right? So here we are again. Have a nice day. I’m going away now.

Michael