It's All In The Marketing

Strange things happen when humans turn from their normal daily pursuits and look to find a fling, a love interest, a spouse or a soulmate. Ordinary people suddenly become marketing gurus and car salesmen, trying to find that perfect spiel that will get them the one or the thing that they want, without stretching the truth too badly. Here’s the rub. We’re pretty sure of what you want, and you’re pretty sure of what we want. This gets somewhat more accurate as we spend more time together. So, prior to the Sale, whether it be marriage, a long term relationship, or a one night stand, we all try to Close the Sale by either telling you what you want to hear, playacting the person we think you’re looking for, or basically living a lie for as long as it takes. The acting and the actual are inversely related. The further we actually are from the person you are looking for, the higher the level of playact, lie, cheat, and steal it takes to close the deal.

Here’s the screwy part. The Warranty period on a one night stand and a marriage is the same. For the one night stand, it lasts until you go to sleep after the Deed is done. That’s what you both wanted, that’s what you got, so there is no more need for the bullshit, ‘cause you won’t see ‘em again anyway. The Marriage Warranty might last through the Honeymoon. After that, all bets are off. Lilke a one night stand, you got what you wanted, the papers are signed, and now you’re both stuck. So we SURE as HELL don’t need to playact any more.

Fems in general market SEX. No surprise there ladies. You are not stupid, by any means. You know the thought running around in most guys head 95% of the day. There’s simply no easier way to hook us. So you let us play, you either enjoy or pretend to enjoy it, and at the end of the day, we firmly believe that we have no worries, that you liked it so much you’ll be putting out like this forever. On top of that, you’ve surely managed to stroke our sensitive egos enough that we’re feeling like Superman, ready for anything, including a ring through the nose.

Guys don’t have it that easy. We have to figure out if you want the nice guy, the sensitive guy, the biker, the jock, or the submissive wimp. Every time we start the chase, we have to play a different part. You all have your part down pat because it rarely changes, you’ve had lots of practice, and its very hard to get that one wrong. We’re good liars, because we have too many different characters to play, and they are all specialized enough that you have to know them and do them well or they will fall apart in an instant.

I’m reminded of a joke that was going around in the email about a year ago.

There’s a chapel where they are fixing to conduct a wedding. The Maid of Honor and the Best Man are rushing around, trying to locate the Bride and Groom who have seemingly disappeared. Meeting out front, they see the Bride and Groom coming from the parking area, so they rush back to their places so the Wedding can begin. The Groom steps up to his place somewhat breathlessly, with a huge grin splitting his face from ear to ear. The Brides Processional starts, and the Brides Father is walking her up the aisle. She has this Cat that Ate the Canary grin on her face. As her Father gives her away, the Best Man leans over to the Groom and asks what the grin is for. Barely withholding a laugh, he coughs out a quiet reply,

“I just got the best blow job of my ENTIRE life.” The Best man smiles knowingly.

The Maid of Honor leans over to adjust the Bride’s dress and she too, asks what her grin is for.

Reaching up to adjust her veil and wipe the corner of her lip, the grin deepens into an evil smile, and she replies

“I just gave the LAST blow job of my entire life.”

So what are YOU selling today?

Michael