I had something entirely different in my mind for the first post to this blog, but the events of the past few days have turned that around completely, and thus:
Women have to be the most bizarre, intriguing, frustrating, amazing, mercurial, intelligent, but crazy thing that ever happened to the male population. It is absolutely amazing to me at this moment that the birthrate and marriage rate in a mostly free country like the United States is as high as it is. You get email all the time about how women forgive but never forget while guys forget but never forgive, how women approach things on a more emotional basis than men, and so many other similar comparisons. I shudder to wonder how many marriages we would actually have if sex were removed from the picture and the human species was set to handle reproduction without intimacy or the sex act. Lots, you would say. It’s not about sex, its about love, you hear. My female significant other and I were having a heated discussion about an entirely different topic the other night. She’s not one to talk about things. She could go through life and be perfectly happy, never having to have a serious conversation about feelings, what’s bothering her, etc. She totally believes in the status quo, which to her means if I just ignore it, and continue on, then things will be alright and everything will stay the same. I’m the talker, preferring to work things out even if there’s blood shed in the course of a brutally honest conversation. So I’m really down on myself at the time, because I once again managed to open my mouth about the wrong subject, at the wrong time. . .
>>You gals made one fatal mistake, back when the guidebook on “How to Treat Women, How to Understand Them, and How to Keep Them Happy” came out – you didn’t bother to make a copy for us. You all have the thing memorized, are readily willing to punish us for breaking the rules in the book, but not one of you ever bothered to give us the book. Hell, I would have been happy with excerpts from Chapter 3 How The Rules Change Dependent on Mood and Situation. You’ve left us in the dark, ladies. With blinders, a gunny sack over our head, in a sealed room under a new moon overcast sky. How can you reasonably expect us to know how to act? No, wait. That’s one of the rules I figured out all on my own. The word reason and the word logic (in its dictionary definition, not the female logic version) are not in the Book.<<
. . . so I say, frustrated as all get out, “Can you tell me one single thing that I do right?” A pause. An attempt to divert the subject elsewhere. I ask again. Another pause, another different attempt push buttons and turn the conversation elsewhere. I ask the third time.
>>this might sound absolutely absurd at this point. Nope. This is part of the Michael and significant other accepted conversation rules and tactics when discussing “IMPORTANT THINGS”. Sometimes she wins, as I’m easily diverted. Sometimes I win. Get the question in three times without diverting to another subject, and I get awarded with an answer. Get diverted, and I can ask fifty times over the course of a month and I may still be looking for the answer to a question I don’t remember at this point. Thems the rules. I can live with them. As long as I don’t get diverted.<<
I get my reward – an answer. Now, pause before reading this, then read it slow, then read it again, because believe me, this thing has more layers than an onion.
“Because you stick around and put up with me through thick and thin even when I don’t really deserve it.”
Read that one more time. She has just given me the most serious and POSITIVE response of our entire relationship.
Uh oh.…
She robbed me of my momentary pity party, by taking the blame on herself. Are you kidding me?!
Double Uh Oh….
She just flung that trap out there and I walked right into it. Who in their right mind would not want to stick around, or even consider NOT sticking around, after that kind of admission.
She got me. Bizarre, intriguing, frustrating, amazing, mercurial, intelligent, but crazy. What could I possibly do? I shut the fuck up.
Exactly what she wanted in the first place……….
Down the road with
- Michael Thomas
- Houston, Texas, United States
- Birthdate - 18FEB1966 We're all just bones with skin on em, walkin' around.
6 comments:
Hmmm. My estranged husband probably could have written this. So how exactly do we communicate our expectations to you all without seeming to be overly critical? I didn't get the "How to Get Your Husband to Paint the Living Room" book.
Wow. You get kudos for being my first commentor ever.
I can tell you what I'd prefer. My first choice would be, at a time when we're both fresh, and not fighting, for you to sit down and say,
"Hey, I'd like for us BOTH to sit down and lay out some expectations. Why don't you tell me yours first!" That 1) takes the attack/defense mode out of it and 2) automatically puts him in the frame of mind to think about things before opening his mouth. This is always a good idea when dealing with guys. Will it work for you? Who knows? But it can't hurt to try just about anything when you are trying to do something positive for the relationship, and open and honest communication is always more positive than negative.
For an exerpt from "How to get your husband to paint the living room", I quote as follows:
"Gee honey, I really think that the living room would look better in mauve, but I know if I try it I'll screw it up, so I really need you to help me out so that it will end up looking correct and professional."
It won't matter how much of that is really true. We LIKE to be depended on to handle the things you all think you can't.
I dont think that all women have that book memorized, i know i sure don't. Especially dealing with other women. (I'm bi <-- there's my label)
I'm not even sure i was there when the books were handed out.
good blog
I've got to mess with this template this weekend. I hate the fact that it's so hard to find the comment form from the main page. It works fine on the single entries, but you can only get them regularly by subscribing the RSS or Atom Feed. I may end up transporting this whole thing into LiveJournal, because the format is much more reader friendly and comment friendly. There was some minor TOS issue or I would have gone with them in the first place. At least I finally got off my duff and started one. I'm really hoping that one day a lot of people will be reading, not for a book deal, but just for the interaction. Does that make Sense? Thanks for the comment and the interest, Mekayla!
Great post! It reminds me of one of my very favorite quotes of all times. From the movie 'As good as it gets'. When a popular male romance writer is asked by a very hot blonde woman "how do you write women so well?" his response is ,,,,,,,"well, I think of a man" ......pause pause.....
"and I remove reason and accountability".
LOVE that line! Not only from a comedy stand point but also because it is partially(if not WHOLELY) true.
Great blog
BD
It really is in the handbook, you know. I've actually said that exact same thing to one of my past boyfriends. I think I may have said it to all of them, come to think of it. Works like a charm every time.
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