08 May 2007

Peaceful in Purgatory


They lied. Purgatory is supposed to be a neutral type of place, a place where you spend time while Saint Peter’s reading the fine print on your contract, since you didn’t clear customs on the first go round. It is supposed to be a place where you can feel the heat of the hellfire, look down the red slide to the burning bottom, and possibly work that last bit of evil out of your body so you can pass inspection on the cheap bus to Heaven. But they all lied.

Purgatory, as it turns out, is a taste of the pain and suffering you’ll endure if they send you down that slide. It is the Cliff Notes Version of Hell, and Heaven and Pearly Gates have nothing to do with it. Purgatory might as well be the foyer to hell. Lying on a bed with every muscle in your body clenched in pain as they feed the IV line with the fourth antibiotic (which won’t work, either) as they try to bring your fever down from that 105 point it keeps hovering back and forth around. It’s not eating for four days because the very thought of food is like a strange and far away world. Rolling back and forth on the bed, shaking arms and leg muscles to let them loosen long enough for the pain to go away for a few minutes. Sleep Dep from four full days without two hours in a row of uninterrupted peaceful sleep. Sitting up in bed every five minutes in a panic, because you’re choking and you’ve coughed so hard and so long that you’ve completely ripped an abdominal muscle, and you have to sit up and lean over the bed so you can at least hold your gut in with one arm while the other desperately tries to keep you on the bed. It’s taking treatments every four hours with a nebulizer, in order to help you breathe, but knowing that the drug in the neb is also going to make you cough uncontrollably. Anticipation in that case is such a wonderful thing. Purgatory is having the little breathing tubes in your nose for 72 hours straight, pumping rich oxygen into your bloodstream, but also leeching the life out of your sinuses to the point that your nose and the back of your throat are nothing but layers of dried blood, their passages slowly constricting as another layer after another layer gets added. I read a book a week. It should have been a time to catch up. The only thing I read in five days was the daily menu, looking for something remotely appetizing to sustain me.

They lied. They said I was going to Purgatory for a few days.

Instead I spent five days in hell, wishing I was dead.

Michael

7 comments:

heather said...

i'm so sorry you had to go through this. but i'm guessing you're on the mend since you are posting. take it slow. you're gonna go stir crazy after a while but let yourself recover a bit before trying to go back to work. take as much time off as you can get your doctor to agree to. you don't want to end up going through it all again. ((((hugs))))

briliantdonkey said...

Heather just saved me some typing as I was going to say pretty much the same things. Glad to see you posting as it strikes me as a sign you are doing a little better at least.

BD

Michael Thomas said...

Heather,
I checked out of Hospital at 3:30 on Sunday and was at work at 06:30 Monday morning. No rest for the weary.
BD - The truly sad thing about this is that there was very little exaggeration in it. Those five days were the worst five days I can remember suffering through in years.

Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm said...

I visited a lesser island nation similar to this particular purgatory place. Mine was called infectuous mononucleosis.

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