Missing Anniversary

This post made One Year on August 15th, and I was so damn busy that I missed the fireworks. I'm still busy, so as my anniversary gift to my readers, I'd like to repost one of my most open, honest, and dark posts. The story of the night I died. Or should have. You'll want to keep the children away from this one.......

The Straw That Broke the Camel's Back

This particular entry is dark and somewhat – well – you might want to skip this one if you’re squeamish or have a weak stomach.

This time of year is Fantastic, Busy, Packed, Happy, Sad, Haunted, Threatening, and Hopeful, all rolled into one for me. Work always gets busy at this time of year. Construction projects start about now so they can place the concrete in bad weather but won’t have the risk of so much bad weather when they get to the finishes inside the buildings. Playtime gets really busy this time of year, too. For the next 7 weekends (and this past weekend) the Texas Renaissance Faire runs, and that means I get to dress up every weekend, exit my normal life entirely, and become a simple Renaissance Shopkeeper at one of the largest fairs in the United States. So basically, I am working seven days a week for eight weeks straight without a day off. Add four total hours of travel time to and from the fair, and my life gets pretty packed in short order. When I’m not doing that, it’s football season. Those are things that I look forward to in life. Simple things, actually. I’m pretty much easy to please.

Cut to the Month of October, 1985. Sophomore in College. Honors Student that basically tested out of my entire Freshmen Year before I ever sat foot on a college campus. Fall of 1985 – The stress of classes that I truly wasn’t ready for, and skipping classes, and problems with women still handcuffing me emotionally, and I was starting a increasingly steep and uncontrollable slide straight to hell. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.00. Toss some drugs in the mix in October.

Watch from above, like an eagle, as I pop two percodan to prep for the pain. Watch me lean toward my roommate, hand him an envelope, and tell him to make sure that they don’t get that later. Look down in judgment as I climb into my car, drive 10 miles into the eerily moonlit desert. Watch me get out, sit down on the edge of the dirt road. Wait, don’t go yet. Watch the moonlight highlight the razor as I pull it out.

No, don’t go yet. Don’t miss the tip of the razor blade entering the top of the wrist. This is better than Halloween. More Gory than Freddie and his glove. Look close as I rip that razor back towards my elbow. Oh no, no weak ass carving a notch across the top of the wrist here. Fuck no! Watch as the skin tension in the forearm suddenly yanks the open edges of my forearm skin back all the way to the bone on either side. Watch me as I look down in shock, and beginning panic, as I move my hand, and like the old Terminator movies, I see every ligament, tendon, and remaining muscle in my arm sliding back and forth.

I was lucky that night. Had my arm simply bled out, with little pain, I would have been dead that fateful evening. But when I looked down and saw crap moving in my wrist, I totally freaked out. I headed for the hospital, already disoriented from blood loss.
October was never a good month for me for a long, long time after that.

It’s a threatening time because Christmas is on us, and you’re already worried about enough money for the kids present, and the Sigo’s. It’s hopeful, because the New Year is coming, and no matter how jaded, cynical, and sarcastic I may become in life, the New Year will always symbolize at least a hope for a better beginning, for a step up the food chain, for something really fantastic to come along to make up for your suffering.

Michael

Weather Report - Erin and Dean Come-a-visiting

Phrase of the Day – If you can’t do it right the first time, don’t take up Skydiving.

So here’s the weather update – Current Computer Modeling has Houston taking a direct hit on 1 of the five models, and on the “Wet Side” on another one of the models. SWEET!

As an aside, Tropical Storm Erin made landfall and headed straight over San Antonio on her way to parts West. Unfortunately, she was training in moisture from the gulf (you’ll see it as a band of clouds, water vapor, and rain looping into the center of a storm, if you look at a satellite photo). So it was Thunder and Rain Alley all day long yesterday here in Big H. Flooding and highway shutdowns. Its good in a minor way, because after the rain stopped two weeks ago, the heat index has been between 100 and 110 degrees that whole time. So we’re at a balmy 84 for a high. It’s really bad, though, because we expect to get rain through Monday from the remnants of Erin, meaning the ground will be close to saturation in terms of soaking up water just in time for Dean, if he decides to make landfall anywhere near here. Dean also means evacuation, if he heads this way. I spent 29 hours on the road evacuating for Rita (which made a last minute turn and missed our dinner date), and during that 29 hours, I only made it from South Houston to 15 Miles north of Greater Houston – usually a 45 minute trip where I live. I don’t want to wish it on anyone else, but I have to tell you that I don’t want to see it going through here, either. Greater Houston Metroplex is the 4^th largest city in the US – and would be a nightmare to evacuate.

But we have about a week. If it does hit here next week, you’ll be hearing it on the evening news. God knows if it does, there’ll be no innernets, as the ‘chick would say, for no telling how long. Until then,

Dream Well, Michael